


The Repeat(ing) Performance

by EvilPeaches



Category: The Following
Genre: Angst, Denial, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-13
Updated: 2013-04-13
Packaged: 2017-12-08 08:03:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/759012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvilPeaches/pseuds/EvilPeaches
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Here’s the thing; Jacob Wells isn’t gay. That’s all Will Wilson’s gig. Unfortunately, that doesn’t explain why he allows Paul to keep doing this to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Repeat(ing) Performance

**Author's Note:**

> **AN:** Here is some lovely smut for you all. It has been sitting on my laptop for days since all my smutty fics seem to be unusually long winded, like 2000+ words of smut. Anyway, I needed to Jacob in denial and seriously struggling after he goes all the way with Paul. Since in the show he clearly didn't want anyone to think he was gay, I really think he had some serious internal fears about it...so I really wanted to focus on that.
> 
> The song I wrote this to is called “Digital Bath” by Deftones.  
> I chose this song to write to because the sound is half eroticism and half desperation all rolled in one, which fits how my version of Jacob feels in this fic (when you find out what the song is really about you will understand why it is perfect for The Following!)
> 
> **Disclaimer:** I do not own the characters or The Following.

* * *

_Tonight, I feel like more  
_

_\- Deftones, "Digital Bath"_

* * *

When Jacob Wells wakes up with the dawn, the sickness that should have been in his stomach the night before consumes his every thought. The body behind him is solid and warm; the arm around his form is like a bar of iron. Will Wilson isn’t here right now, but if he were, Jacob would tell him just how badly he _fucked up_ last night.

 

Last night. He almost feels like shuddering, he wants to scream and shout that it wasn’t him, it _wasn’t_ him, it was Will, and it was all just for show. _A show for whom? You were all alone last night,_ Jacob thinks, his own inner voice skeptical and demeaning.

 

The hangover from all the wine he drank is pounding through his skull and Jacob feels like he can hear his own blood coursing through his veins, the way he could hear Paul’s heartbeat echoing in his ears as he fell asleep only hours before. Jacob stiffens as the person behind him shifts, holding him tighter, pulling him closer. He keeps his eyes squeezed shut so that he doesn’t have to acknowledge that he is awake yet. He’s not ready to face his own actions, the actions that should never have happened in the first place because he likes women, not men.

 

Paul gets up and the bed moves a little as he leaves, searching for some boxers to put on. Jacob keeps his eyes closed, but peeks out from under his lashes to watch Paul while seeming asleep. His stomach tightens as he looks at Paul’s naked form and he hates himself all over again, practically screaming inside him mind for Paul to pull some damn clothing on, now, _please_. Paul turns and looks at him, the expression on his face unreadable despite the fact that Jacob appears to be sleeping.

 

It never really occurs to Jacob that Paul knows he is awake and trying to hide in plain sight. Predators know what prey looks like, after all.

 

When Paul finally stops looking at him and leaves, Jacob stumbles out of the bed and flees into the bathroom. He can’t even look at himself in the mirror, afraid he will see Will Wilson looking back at him. Afraid to see what marks last night left on his body. The hangover, it must be the hangover that makes him feel so sick and dizzy, the room is tilting this way and that. Jacob sits down and rests his head on the cold floor, trying to calm the pain and the thoughts and the regret that bites so deep. Then, just as he feels himself beginning to calm, Paul calls up the stairs from the kitchen, “I’m making breakfast. Pancakes or eggs or both, Will?”

 

It feels like acid rushes up his throat and Jacob finds himself losing his guts in the toilet. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s done this as a result of something Paul has done. For example, happily stabbing a girl in the trunk of a car, that was enough to make Jacob sick for quite some time because he couldn't imagine doing it himself. It is so hard to equate the cold blooded murderer in Paul with the Paul that Jacob is best friends with.

 

The best friend who fucked him into the sheets and beyond last night.

 

* * *

 

* * *

 

It is awkward between them for a few days. It is like they don’t even know how to act, what to say, what to even think. Jacob is on edge now, he is stressed out at school, finds himself spacing out and thinking of what happened and then despising himself some more. The children are calling him Mr. Crankypants now and he supposes he deserves that title. Things at the townhouse haven’t been the greatest at the moment, at least not with him. It’s making his disposition abominable.

 

Jacob knows that Paul is practically walking on eggshells with him at the moment. He almost feels bad about that, almost. But really, this is Paul’s fault, this is all Paul’s fault that he feels this way, that he can’t stop thinking about the way Paul bites his lip when he’s trying not to moan.

 

That night, when they are both home from work, they eat in silence, once again. They have tried to stay away from Sarah just so they don’t have to do the act, if only because they are both terrified that it isn’t an act anymore, at least not entirely. 

 

When they are done eating, Paul gets up to collect the dishes and he brushes up against Jacob as he picks up his plate, causing Jacob to nearly jump out of his skin at the brief contact. Horrified, Jacob’s only response is to lash out about everything he has been stewing over for the past few days. “I thought you said you weren’t gay,” Jacob snaps, his cobalt eyes furious and betrayed.

 

Paul recoils away as if he just realized he was touching a coiled snake. He looks hurt and rejected by Jacob’s sharp refusal to be touched. Perhaps he wouldn’t look that way if he knew how badly Jacob wants to feel his hands on his naked skin, so bad that his flesh positively _aches_. Looking lost, Paul clenches his fists and says quietly, “I’m _not_. We made a mistake, Jacob. It was an accident. I get it-”

 

Laughing without humor, Jacob shakes his head in disbelief and croaks out thickly, “Really? Do you really get it? That crossed every line, every fucking boundary-”

 

“Keep your voice down, do you want to blow our cover?” Paul hisses under his breath, his eyes beginning to get the fires of anger in them, burning darkly like coals.

 

Jacob knocks his glass over and watches as it breaks when it hits the floor. The sound doesn’t even make Paul flinch, nor does it draw his attention away from Jacob, the intensity of his gaze stirring Jacob’s blood in more ways than one. Jacob is too fired up to be stopped now, he’s borderline hysterical. “That is your excuse for it, isn’t it? It’s all for our cover, yeah? Well guess what, Paul; _fucking_ me in the privacy of our own home isn’t part of this ‘act’.”

 

All the anguish and shame that has been building up in Jacob’s chest the past few days is spilling out now and he doesn’t see the end of his fury in sight. He moves to get up, he wants to hit Paul and make him feel a little bit of the pain he’s been wallowing in the past few days and-

 

Paul gasps out, “Jacob, don’t…”

 

“Dammit!” Jacob cries out as his foot crunches down on some of the broken glass.

 

He feels as the glass digs into the bottom of his foot and the pain is just so enlightening. It clears his thoughts and as he stands there and bleeds, Paul shuffles some of the glass away and pulls Jacob out of the kitchen and into the next room.

 

Paul shoves Jacob down roughly onto the couch, the same couch that they first passionately locked lips without having Sarah there to show off for. “Give me your foot.”

 

Jacob clenches his jaw stubbornly and only glares. Paul is now exuding his no nonsense side and his dark eyes say that he isn’t about to tolerate any juvenile bullshit. When Jacob doesn’t move, Paul snarls, “ _Now_ , and don’t make me do it for you.”

 

Raising his bleeding foot, Jacob moves it towards Paul and allows him to start cleaning it, wincing as Paul presses too hard. Jacob doesn’t even want to open his mouth in protest because Paul is in one of his dangerous moods. He imagines that Paul is cleaning the wound so roughly just to hurt Jacob a little more. As he begins to bandage the small injury, Paul finally speaks in a tone full of bitterness and disgust. “I get that you are pissed at me, I fucking get it. But you know what? It wasn’t like I expected what happened to happen either, Jac-Will. We are grown men and I think this is something we can get over. You are my friend and I’ve never had many friends. I care about you. So just, please, stop with this victimized bullshit. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you.”

 

Jacob feels his self-righteous anger flowing out of his body like water and it leaves him feeling exhausted. Was this really all he needed, just a straight forward talk about what happened? A voice of reason telling him that he wasn’t a disgusting piece of shit for letting another man do that to him? He had been so busy avoiding the issue, avoiding Paul, that he never stopped to think that it was something he needed to get off his chest. He isn’t gay and neither is Paul, it was just a drunk mistake, it had to be. With his foot all bandaged up, Jacob pulls it out of Paul’s grasp so that he can sit back and look at him for a few moments, debating his next words. They don’t turn out as eloquent as Paul’s. “Sorry I was a total dickbag, Billy.”

 

The muscles in Paul’s face relax and his expression gentles. “It’s alright, I understand. We aren’t gay; we are just pretending to be. I guess we got caught up in the act, right?”

 

Jacob grins, because he’s missed Paul. It’s hard being angry at the one person who is currently the center of your world, despite choosing them to be or not. “Haha, yeah, I’ll say. The alcohol definitely wasn’t helping.”

 

Paul’s hand touches Jacob’s knee and he says reassuringly in a low voice, “It won’t happen again, Jacob. I swear.”

 

Jacob prefers to not acknowledge the odd feeling of disappointment that statement brings, because he should be elated.

 

He doesn’t notice the way Paul’s eyes are rebelling against his own words, because really, Paul has never had any friends and Jacob is the closest he has ever been to a person. It isn’t his fault he’s getting his platonic relationship with Jacob all mixed up with his caring feelings.

 

It isn’t like he knows any better.

 

* * *

 

* * *

 

It is almost like everything goes back to normal after they hash out their feelings on the matter. They begin to hang out with Sarah again and it is like the whole nightmare of a scenario just disappeared. Sarah wonders why she hadn’t seen them lately and they simply tell her they both had the flu. The lie works and Sarah simpers over them for a few moments. Paul’s arm is wrapped about Jacob again and everything is perfect once more.

 

They go and work out together at the gym and they secretly rent some manly movies from the local movie store and watch them together since they are both tired of chick flicks with Sarah. Jacob feels like he can breathe easier again, because the accident isn’t going to happen again and he and Paul are perfect. Sarah doesn’t suspect a thing and still thinks they are just as gay as they were when she met them. He worries though; he worries about Emma. What if she finds out? She can’t ever find out.

 

Jacob dwells on thoughts of Emma for awhile, although he hasn’t spoken to her in about a year. He misses her and the idea of her finding out about him and Paul is horrific. It’s like cheating on her, isn’t it?

 

Isn’t it? No, it can’t be, it isn’t like he cares about Paul that way…

 

He goes to bed that night in Paul’s arms and tells himself that it’s because the bed doesn’t really give them that much room to sleep apart and he doesn’t mind being this close to Paul when he is sleeping, it isn’t so bad…

 

 They go for a run one day, early in the morning when they wake up. Paul pushes Jacob hard, it is like he can run forever and it takes all Jacob has just to keep up. By the time they are done after about three grueling miles, the sun is up in the sky and beating down on their backs. “Dude, you’re killing me. I’m gonna pass out,” Jacob pants, bending over briefly to try and catch his breath.

 

Paul’s familiar deep chuckle is filled with amusement (and not an ounce of exhaustion!) as he pats Jacob on the back. “Suck it up, man. We have half a mile back to the house.”

 

Groaning, Jacob sags into the grass, as they are currently in an empty park. “Half a mile? Fuck it, you are going to have to carry me.”

 

Ruffling Jacob’s hair for a moment, Paul crouches down on the ground beside him. Jacob is too exhausted to even react when Paul puts his arm around his shoulders and pulls him close. Jacob can’t help but inhale deeply, as his aching lungs are dying for air. Paul’s spicy cologne is mixed with his sweat and Jacob vaguely likes it. Oh, screw it; Paul smells great. “I’m not going to carry you because I know you can make it. This won’t kill you, Jacob, it will make you stronger,” Paul mutters close to Jacob’s ear.

 

“Jerk. You _are_ trying to kill me.”

 

A strong hand grips his arm and hauls Jacob to his shaky feet. Paul elbows him hard enough to make Jacob grunt and he winks, grinning widely. “Never.”

 

The run home isn’t very long, but Jacob thinks it feels like forever since he is so tired. He isn’t as fit as Paul, at least not when it comes to running like a cheetah at a breakneck pace. When they make it in the door, Jacob crawls up the stairs and heads for the shower, stripping off his sweat soaked clothing as he goes. While in the bathroom, he tosses his shirt and boxers into the laundry basket in the corner and begins to open the shower door. He stops when the bathroom door behind him snaps open and Paul walks in, his eyes widening as he takes in Jacob’s naked form.

 

Jacob blushes because he really doesn’t know what else to do. “Ah…showers occupied.”

 

Paul blinks and mutters, “Sorry,” as he slams the door shut and leaves.

 

Jacob’s heart is pounding and his skin feels like it is on fire from all the places that Paul’s gaze touched. When he turns the spray on, the cold water is a relief.

 

* * *

 

 

* * *

  
  
They go out to dinner with Sarah that night and the party doesn’t stop there. When they return to their house with Sarah in tow, they break out the cocktail mixes and the vodka and let loose. Sarah makes a mean martini and since the guys are supposed to be gay this isn’t really an issue at the moment. Drink after drink after drink and soon Sarah can’t even speak straight anymore. “I think we need to cut you off,” Jacob giggles as he tries to help get her off the couch.

 

He isn’t very successful and ends up landing on her, causing Sarah to squeal, “You’re s…s..squishing me! Get off, Will!”

 

Paul has to intervene and help Jacob off, laying him down on the other couch gently. “Stay here, I’m going to take Sarah home.”

 

Everything is spinning and it is fucking great so Jacob just waves his hand in response and bites Paul on the neck as he is pulling away. Paul twitches and looks at Jacob with well hidden shock, but then turns and helps Sarah make the short journey home. Jacob sighs and stares up at the ceiling, letting the time pass and feeling beyond dizzy. He feels numb.

 

When Paul returns, Jacob listens as he locks the front door behind him. He comes to a stop in front of Jacob and chuckles. “You’re such a mess, Jacob. Come to bed?”

 

Jacob only grins widely and allows Paul to help him up to their room. After all, Jacob is more than sloppy tonight and that is far too dangerous. As Paul leads him over to the bed, trying to help him with his drunken sway, Jacob paws at him, saying, “Aren’t you drunk, _Billy?_ Usually you are…more…more touchy than this.”

 

Paul’s face goes serious at Jacob’s words. It is dark and Jacob can’t see the expression in Paul’s eyes, but he is annoyed, absolutely _annoyed_ that Paul isn’t touching him the way he wants to be touched right now. Jacob’s thoughts are a whirl and every thought and feeling that has been suppressed these past few weeks is beginning to creep out of the back of his mind.

 

_PaulsmyfriendIlikePaulhesamazingIwanttotouchhimohGodIwanthim…_

…He pulls Paul onto the bed and presses his mouth against his roughly, wanting to taste the alcohol on Paul’s tongue. Paul makes a low noise in his throat, surprised and hungry all at once. He responds the way Jacob wants and Jacob practically goes boneless under the weight of Paul’s body as Paul takes control of the situation. The sharp taste of liquor in Paul’s mouth is intoxicating and Jacob nibbles at his bottom lip, enjoying the way Paul’s large hands are shaking as they move over his body.

 

Will Wilson is suddenly absent and Jacob can’t hide behind his shame and guilt this round. Oh no, subconsciously he knows he started this, this time he really brought Paul on to him. He should have known better, but what harm is there in kissing your best friend? But, _oh_ what do you do when your friend unbuttons your jeans and slides his hand across your heated erection? Jacob doesn’t have the answers and _oh God,_ he doesn’t care, not when Paul’s thumb is teasing over his slit.

 

It is like having a constant war in his head and Jacob is tired of feeling like he is being pulled in all directions. He helps Paul slide his jeans off, sighing with relief as his aching flesh is released from its tight confines. Jacob faintly hears Paul’s jeans also land on the floor and he knows from experience that Paul always goes commando. Looking down at his own boxer clothed form, Jacob flushes with embarrassment at the sight of the large wet spot already forming on the front. His belly fills with fire when Paul leans forward and laves his tongue over the wet, clothed spot, nuzzling against Jacob’s cock. With his fiery gaze connected with Jacob’s, Paul uses his teeth to pull the boxers down over Jacob’s erection.

 

That’s it. _We’re naked and this is going to get homosexual real fast,_ Jacob thinks vaguely as Paul grins down at him predatorily. Jacob is attracted to danger and Paul is one of the most dangerous men he has ever met, so the fierce looks being directed his way are only making his cock twitch in anticipation. “Fuck, you want it bad, don’t you, _Will,_ ” Paul gloats, the expression on his face not entirely adoring and more dominating.

 

Jacob rolls his eyes because that sounds like Paul and not Billy, that is for sure. He hopes Sarah didn’t hear that because Billy is much sweeter and doesn’t say things that make him sound like he thinks he’s the second coming. “Shut up, _Billy_ , and use your dick instead,” he hisses, his voice thick and slurred.

 

So, Paul does. Or at least, begins to. Like a wolf on his prey, Paul pounces upon Jacob’s body and crashes their lips together violently. This isn’t a loving kiss and that is okay with Jacob, he loves the teeth clashing hard, the harsh biting on his lip. It’s raw and everything that Paul represents to him, everything that draws Jacob to him in ways he doesn’t want to be drawn to any man. Fingers dig hard into his hips and rear, pulling him tightly against Paul’s body as they rock their hips against one another. It feels like heaven and hell all rolled into one and Jacob doesn’t want it to ever end. The slide of Paul’s cock against his is delicious and heated, every hard presses and rub making him want to cry out. Then, of course Paul has to cross lines again, because that is what Paul fucking _does._

“Whoa. Wha-what are you doing?” Jacob yelps, panicked, trying to squirm away from Paul’s searching fingers as they slip between his cheeks, teasing and seeking.

 

Paul looks up into Jacob’s eyes and Jacob _knows_ exactly what is going on because the look on Paul’s face is more desperate and hungry than he can even fathom. “Jacob,” Paul begins in a low, thick voice, sure that Sarah can’t hear him as he speaks a name that isn’t Will, “it’s alright.”

 

The alcohol cloud in his brain is starting to drift away now and anxiety is beginning to settle in. Jacob can’t _do_ this again! Paul told him…Paul told him it wouldn’t happen again, he said they weren’t gay. If Jacob does this again, God forbid if he enjoys this _again,_ what does that make him? “Paul…we can’t. I…I can’t…”

 

“Please, Jacob, _please_. I fucking need to be in you again. No one has to know,” Paul breathes into his ear, the begging tone in his voice more attractive to Jacob than repulsive.

 

The idea that someone so powerful has to _beg_ to have him…well…that’s an exhilarating notion.

 

It becomes a whirl of sin and Jacob doesn’t have the will or desire to even stop it. Lips run down his neck, teeth biting his skin hard enough to hurt, but good enough to make Jacob moan into it, enjoying the aggressive, almost frantic way Paul clutches at him, his large hands digging into him hard enough to leave marks. It hurts and that’s how Jacob likes it. Their naked erections brush against each other briefly, causing both men to cry out in pleasure. Paul grinds his hips against Jacob’s roughly, his fingers once more creeping underneath, closer to the spot between Jacob’s cheeks. The acceptance that this is indeed going to happen is only slightly registering Jacob’s head and he tenses once more when fingers gently brush against him. “Um,” he croaks out against Paul’s lips, “you intend to use lube right?”

 

Snorting, Paul pulls away and leans over the side of the bed and pulls out the lube from the drawer so that it is now in plain sight and Jacob can stop being a finicky princess. Paul moves back to Jacob, kissing his way down his chest, enjoying the sound of Jacob’s gasps and murmurs of enjoyment. Jacob watches as Paul’s mouth covers one of his nipples and sucks hard, causing him to shudder. Then he moves on, biting at Jacob’s stomach playfully before engulfing Jacob’s cock whole. “Oh…oh…ahhh…Paul,” Jacob breathes out, trying not to say Paul’s name loudly, least Sarah hears it and thinks he’s cheating or some shit like that.

 

It isn’t like Paul really knows what he is doing, he is just doing it because he thinks it will please Jacob and that is just fine. He groans around Jacob’s cock and watches as Jacob throws his head back. He then moves up to kiss Jacob roughly. “I like it when you moan like a whore for me,” Paul growls smugly against Jacob’s lips briefly before diving back down to do something else entirely.

 

A breathy laugh, half moan slides out of Jacob’s mouth as heat engulfs his sac and Paul laves his tongue over it gently. The sensation is different and Jacob has definitely always liked it when chicks did it to him in what seems like a lifetime ago. This isn’t to say that everything with Paul is just like being with a girl…

 

…Especially not when Paul uses the strength in his arms to suddenly flip Jacob onto his stomach, despite Jacob’s loud protests. Paul isn’t interested in hearing Jacob complain any further so he effectively shuts him up. After biting one of his cheeks roughly, he kisses and licks his way in between and then Jacob truly and completely becomes a puddle of goo with not a single ‘no’ spewing out of his lips. He can’t even monitor the name that comes out because he can’t fucking think about Billy at the moment. “Oh…shit… _Paul…Paaauul…”_

Yeah. Paul likes hearing that much better as his tongue teases Jacob’s entrance, the wet sound of his lips and saliva against it turning Jacob on beyond the breaking point, beyond the point of breathing anymore. It is almost like Paul is devouring him, his tongue fucking into him. No chick has ever done this, that is for sure, Jacob didn’t even know about this shit and he doesn’t want to know how Paul came up with it. His cock is leaking against the sheets and he is desperately trying to resist pushing back against Paul’s face, wanting more, because he freaking wants _more_ and Jacob doesn’t have the mindset to even analyze why at the moment. Jacob barely even registers when Paul’s fingers begin to join in the play, pressing against the small ring of flesh he was previously worshipping with his lips.

 

The sting is barely noticeable and Jacob isn’t focusing on the fact that his friend has his fingers (and formerly his tongue) in his ass, caressing him in places he never thought he would ever want to be touched. Paul’s large fingers are stroking his insides and it feels a little weird and uncomfortable, but then Paul brushes something that makes lightening shoot through Jacob’s body. “Do…do that again, shit,” Jacob gasps out, his face buried against the pillow in front of him.

 

Paul complies, but only for a few moments, his dark eyes intently watching the shivering body before him. He could look at Jacob like this for hours, all fucking day if it were up to him. He scissors his fingers inside his pseudo boyfriend again before sliding them out, watching as Jacob winces slightly. Now he reaches for the lube and slicks his cock up, stroking himself up and down while gazing at the body he’s come to think of as his. At that thought, he roughly grabs Jacob’s form again and flips him onto his back, smirking down at Jacob’s disgruntled look. “What. Are. You. Doing?” Jacob grits out, always the grouchy one when it comes to stuff like this.

 

There is a slight pause, but then there is sardonic laughter. Still snickering, Paul responds, “What do you think; I’m fucking you.”

 

There is a moment of silence between them at those words. Jacob freezes for a moment, looking as if he is about to run and hide, but then his face goes blank and he says, “Well then, get on with it, _Billy_. What are you waiting for, a sign from God?”

 

His nerves are on end when Paul hoists his legs up over his shoulders. It is a rough position, seeing as Jacob isn’t that freaking limber, he’s a man for fucks sake! He feels so exposed and Paul’s eyes are stripping him naked right down to his soul. Paul takes his own cock in hand and lines it up with Jacob’s entrance, gently brushing the large head against him. “Are you ready, _Will?”_

Is Paul for real right now? Jacob groans in what feels like frustration. “Yes, just do it already!”

 

Paul catches his gaze and holds it for a second. The fire in Jacob’s belly seems to burn even more as a result as Paul throatily utters, “Good, because I’m not stopping.”

 

Then he thrusts in hard, causing Jacob to cry out in pain and pleasure all at once. The burn is intense, but the feeling of Paul filling him, stretching him, it is like a sensory overload. Paul is panting heavily, as if he has been running for hours and he definitely looks like he’s possibly in a place between heaven and hell. “You…feel as good as…the first time…” he says, brushing his nose against Jacob’s briefly.

 

Jacob doesn’t want to hear about last time, which by the way, was him on his stomach being taken from behind, with Paul’s teeth sunk deep into his shoulder.

 

 Pushing that thought away, Jacob shifts a little, feeling fleeting tingles of pain as his body continues to adjust to the new intrusion. Paul moans loudly and slowly grinds his hips against Jacob’s ass, palming Jacob’s erection at the same time in an effort to distract him from the discomfort. Paul kisses Jacob slowly as he buries himself inside further. The pain is slowly dissipating and Jacob finds it easier to focus on the scent of Paul and the taste of his lips.

 

When Paul picks up the pace, he snaps his hips hard and Jacob sees stars. “ _Ohh…_ that was good. Yeah, just like that, harder,” Jacob moans, enjoying the hungry look that transforms Paul’s face.

 

The headboard is beginning to bang against the wall and Paul is thrusting faster, the wet sound of their sweaty bodies colliding resounding in the room. The press of Paul’s sac against his ass is unbelievably arousing and for one insane second Jacob wishes he could have it all pressed into him, cock and balls. Paul is grunting and biting his lip to try and keep the sounds to a minimum and Jacob just runs his hands across Paul’s shoulders, trying to pull him closer, enjoying the feel of him sliding in and out.

 

It is such a vulnerable position, too intimate, but Jacob doesn’t have the time to be embarrassed about it right now. No, right now he’s touching his cock lightly, and then harder, gasping for air even as Paul’s tongue dominates his mouth. He’s surrounded by Paul and can think of nothing else except the lightning bolts of pleasure zipping up and down his spine as Paul tilts his hips this way and that, changing his angle. Jacob isn’t really sure why Paul is switching it up until the tip of his cock knocks into that sweet spot inside Jacob again, making him black out briefly. Paul grins when he sees Jacob’s reaction and begins to mercilessly pound into him, into that exact spot that feels so good. “Look at me, Jacob,” Paul breathes softly, yet with a sharp demand in every word.

 

Jacob is barely able to keep his blue eyes open at this point, but he obliges Paul and looks him in the face. Something…passes between them. The look in Paul’s eyes makes Jacob feel more wanted and desired than he has ever felt in his entire life. It terrifies him, but he just can’t tear his gaze away. Paul grabs Jacob around the neck and then leans closer, sinking his teeth in deep. Jacob cries out in pain and ecstasy, because he is pretty sure he is bleeding and he’s even more turned on by the idea of Paul marking him this way. Combined with the hard, animalistic thrusts, the teeth in his flesh, Jacob gets sent over the edge.

 

Jacob begins to curse as he feels himself letting go, spurting all over his stomach and chest, because he wants Paul to dominate him, he enjoys the power Paul has. It is the most twisted, darkest form of arousal he has ever felt and he doesn’t want to regret it, not now. Paul’s eyes eat up the scene and he groans loudly as Jacob spasms around him, “Oh, fuck, you’re squeezing me so good, I’m gonna…I’m gonna fucking spill in you.”

 

He presses against Jacob even harder than he thought possible, as if about to crawl into his skin. Jacob feels the squirt of Paul’s hot release inside of him and can’t believe he’s feeling his best friend fill him with cum…again. Paul’s mouth is against his neck and he says something too quiet for Jacob to hear. Jacob feels Paul begin to soften inside of him, but Paul doesn’t move his hips, in fact, he seems to press his hips even harder against Jacob’s ass so that his cock doesn’t fall out. Paul’s never felt so complete and he isn’t about to pull away for a second, not when Jacob is being so calm about the situation that he promised they would never be in again.

 

For a long time, the only sound in the room is the sound of their breathing.

 

“I wanted to see your face,” Paul whispers against Jacob’s skin.

 

“What are you talking about?” Jacob mutters sleepily.

 

“You asked me what I was doing when I flipped you over. That’s what I was doing,” Paul responds, his voice soft, face now buried in Jacob’s hair.

 

Oh. _Oh wow._

Jacob’s heart skips a beat and he feels like a fucking girl for a moment because something like that shouldn’t be such a big deal for him. He falls asleep with his heart pounding madly, in Paul’s arms, surrounded by his scent, covered in his own cum and filled with Paul’s.

 

And the same words keep echoing in his head, _I wanted to see your face._

 

* * *

 

* * *

 

He wakes up with Paul’s mouth on his with Paul’s tongue lazily tracing his lips. Jacob is still sleepy, barely awake, but he sighs into Paul’s mouth and shivers when Paul moans hungrily in response. Paul is above him on the bed, his naked body pressed against Jacob’s in a sinfully delicious way. Fueled by Jacob’s surprisingly responsiveness, Paul presses him further into the mattress, becoming more aggressive by the second. It feels like he is trying to breathe the same air as Jacob, become one with him just by being so close.

 

When their heated erections brush against one another, Jacob stiffens in shock as it finally reaches his sleep filled brain what he’s doing _exactly._ Paul stops attacking his neck briefly and nuzzles against his cheek, inhaling deeply. His voice is husky and filled with desire as he asks, “Is this alright? Please tell me you aren't freaking out again.”

 

Jacob finally opens his eyes and stares into Paul’s heated dark gaze. He is dead sober now; he has no excuse for this. The morning sun is pouring over them from the window and there is no darkness to hide in this time. A thousand horrible thoughts are racing through his mind, everything that is normal and good in Jacob is screaming for him to say no, say something to stop this madness, but instead Jacob doesn’t say a word.

 

He says nothing and only reaches for Paul’s face and kisses him, because after all, no one has to know.

 

None of this is alright, but Jacob just doesn’t care anymore. He’s done denying the fact the he enjoys the feel of Paul’s body against his, the taste of him. Jacob is done worrying because no one else fucking matters here, not in their house, not in their room, and especially not in their _bed_.

 

Only Paul matters here and that’s enough for now.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos if you liked! Thank you for reading :)


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